Is my home messy too?

January 30, 2023

Marie Kondo has been going viral over the past few days for saying she has kind of given up on striving for a perfectly organized home now that she has 3 kids. Now, she has realized what is important to her, and that is enjoying her time with her children.

“My home is messy, but the way I am spending my time is the right way for me at this time at this stage of my life,” - Marie Kondo

As a parent myself, I think this is not only relatable but also refreshing to hear. The way I see it - it’s not like Marie Kondo is saying she has given up on her method or organization altogether. Not even a little bit! What I think Marie is referring to is the pressure she gives herself to keep her home perfectly tidy ALL THE TIME because she is known as a tidying expert and has been a tidy person her whole life.

To my knowledge, having a perfectly tidy space all the time is not something Marie has ever preached we should strive for. Part of the KonMari Method’s appeal for me right from the start is that it’s about sparking joy, keeping only the things you love, living your ideal life and spending your time joyfully. “You be you!” is how I interpreted her message.

In The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo said:

“Tidying is just a tool, not the final destination. The true goal should be to establish the lifestyle you want most once your house has been put in order." 

The fact that Marie said enjoying time at home with her children is more important than having a perfectly tidy home all the time shows that she is living exactly what she preaches in her books and I love that. 

I was quite a messy person myself before I became a parent. After having a kid, our home became even more cluttered to the point of it feeling overwhelming. I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up in 2015, just before my son turned one. My husband and I both read the book and decided to tidy up our home using Marie’s method. The KonMari Method helped me see what was important to me in life and think about what is the lifestyle that will bring me joy. When you look at it from that perspective, it’s not about the things you have, or have your home look a certain way. Instead, it’s about how you want to spend your time to have more joy in life. I even think my KonMari journey has led me to become a better parent simply because my home is a calm, stress-free place that supports how I want to live and is easy to maintain. If we make a mess during the day from playing or doing activities, I am not stressed about it because I know it’ll take us 5 minutes to clean up at the end of the day. Just knowing that and having learned the tools to tidy up has reduced a lot of stress during the day. When we play, I am not worried or stressed about having to clean up afterwards because it’s easy so it’s not even a thought.

So, is my home messy too?

Yes, sometimes my home is messy too - it’s only natural! My son makes all kinds of mess when he plays or do arts & crafts and I love to cook and host friends. We do put things back after using it throughout the day but I don’t worry too much about being perfectly tidy during the day especially if something else takes priority. If it’s messy, I will take a few minutes to tidy up anything out of place at the end of the day.

The KonMari Method for me was never about having a perfectly tidy space all the time. This is not something I tell my clients to strive for either. If you think about it, it’s an impossible task to have a tidy home 24/7. When there is life happening in the home, you’ll always have things to put away, dishes to do and laundry to wash. What the KonMari Method has taught me is to keep only the things that sparks joy and have a home within your home for everything that you keep. That was the game-changer and mindset shift for me because when you have less and everything has a home, it’s so much easier to tidy up because everyone knows where everything goes.

To Marie’s point about giving yourself the pressure to strive for tidiness all the time as a tidying expert, I too felt this pressure after becoming a KonMari Consultant myself many years ago. I used to stress when things are out of place and especially if I knew people were coming over. I’d say to my husband while I’m tidying up quickly - we have to clean up! I am a KonMari Consultant! Don’t you know I have a reputation to uphold?!

However, after doing exactly that several times, I realized this is the true magic of having implemented the KonMari Method in our home. I AM able to tidy up within 5 minutes no matter how messy our home may look in that moment. This is because we have fewer items and everything actually does have a home. When we tidy up, we’re just putting things back in their place. There are no questions about where something should go and no additional thinking required. I am not moving something somewhere temporary, I am not hiding anything only to have to move it again later. This method is about sparking joy and I encourage you to try it. Sign up for my newsletter and download my free Tidying Festival Planning Guide. Start by asking yourself, what is your ideal lifestyle? What is the lifestyle that will spark joy for you? If you need additional guidance, I am here to support your tidying journey in person or virtually. 😉